Testimony on 1 Etznab in the Mayan Calendar

On 8th November 2012 at sunset we are coming to the ETZNAB 13-day cycle. Etznab is the razor sharp flint or obsidian knife. Here is a testimony from a person born on the day 1 Etznab.

Obsidian, Palenque

Obsidian, Palenque

1/ You were born on a 1 Etznab day in the Tzolkin Mayan Calendar. So in Mayan astrology, you are a ‘pure’ Etznab so to speak. Etznab is the sharp, cutting obsidian knife. How does this symbol resonate with you to describe your main energy?

It resonates really well with me. I didn’t know I had this ability and people could get terribly hurt by me. I didn’t ever intentionally mean to hurt anybody but I would just say things because they felt right for me to say. They were my truth, but at times I created a disaster with it. It was like going through life with a laser sharp knife, which I realised later. I would just make comments, which went right to the core for these people. They did not want and were not ready to be seen there. Before I went onto a more conscious path, I have sometimes used this ability negatively, not understanding what power it held. I can now see that Etznab describes me well and makes a lot of sense.

2/ You work as a consultant clinical psychologist specialised in trauma. Etznab relates to the themes of both suffering and healing of our wounds. How do you see the dynamics of this process within your practice?

I believe that trauma is one of the gateways to our own enlightenment or coming home to our self. Through the transformation and healing of trauma,we can find an inner connection to who we really are, to our essence. This underlying knowledge guides me in my work.
Healing from trauma involves travel into those dark places where there is still pain, not because we want to stay there, but we have to know the suffering in order to transform it and to connect to the light. The intention is not to dwell in it, but to allow sufficient time to be able to experience it, in order to transform the pain.
Working with this requires a position of ‘no pity’, which involves respectful honouring and compassionate connection, without being controlled, overtaken or indulging in our pain. We have to know it, to notice it, in order to release it. I also work with parts as many people have had to separate themselves into different parts of Self.

3/ I have noted that some Etznab personalities are prone to conflicts especially in their youth and others are naturally peaceful. Even so, the latter will often be dealing with aggressive people. A good example is the Dalai Lama who is 9 Etznab, reflecting the situation in Tibet where the meditative gentle monks have to face the violence from the Chinese. Can you see this for yourself?

Oh completely. My life started with my being born prematurely. I was very healthy, there was nothing wrong with me apart from my weight being lower than the German rule set. The law was that below a certain weight a baby had to go into an incubator, regardless of whether the baby was healthy or not. I was separated from my mother at birth and left in an incubator for 2 weeks.
I am sure what I would have needed was my mother’s breast and love, but I didn’t get this. At that time only my father could visit and there was a glass screen through which I was shown to him by the nurses. He wasn’t able to come in and hold me and there was no physical contact at all with any of my early primary attachment figures.
If that is not suffering for a young baby! I was exposed to a violent, immediate separation from the word go. On top of that my Soul, chose parents who were both traumatised by the second World War. My mother wanted to love, but was very shut off from herself, not knowing that she was. My mother was very dissociated and my father was very violent. At heart, I am peace loving and I could never understand why I would be punished so much. I tried to be such a good child and get it right for everybody. Looking back, I was such a good child, but that didn’t make any difference, I would still be beaten and punished. So I’ve been exposed to conflict from my very early life and I know what that’s like.

4/ The obsidian was used for scrying and as a mirror pendant worn by the ancient Maya. Jose Arguelles in his modern version of the 20 calendar signs calls Etznab ‘mirror’. Do you encounter this mirror effect a lot in your experiences? Are you yourself a mirror?

obsidian_scrying_mirror

obsidian scrying mirror

Yes, now I believe that I am a mirror and I can tolerate when others mirror back to me. I am very aware of the concept of staying present in the face of dissociation of the other. Part of how trauma therapy works is actually, if the therapist can centre in their own middle and stay connected, then they can act as a mirror to their client.
Through that, maybe for the first time ever in another person’s life, this person can see their own image reflected in the other. And of course it works the other way round; the client, not knowing, reflects back to the therapist, acting as their mirror. The therapist needs to be able to tolerate this level of intense connection without dissociating, as this forms the basis for healing early attachment wounds.

5/ As usual in astrological attributes or themes, you can notice an abundance of certain qualities or conversely, a lack of these within the personality. For Etznab we can talk about confusion versus clarity. Have you noticed these on your path?

Yes, when I was younger, I was very confused, because I did not understand, none of it made sense to me. Also I did not think very much about myself. I thought I was incompetent and unlovable. I had absorbed many of the early messages to me, really believing that I was bad. Then I was fortunate, because I found a spiritual master who took me into her apprenticeship. It was a very holistic approach, body and mind; we worked with crystals, chakras and breathing. Then I started to attain more and more clarity. A I have been getting clearer and clearer, it’s felt lovely. There is still sometimes a bit of confusion when I can’t remember something fast enough!

6/ Etznab is the sign of duality which has the ‘negative’ connotation of separation. In its more ‘positive’ expression we speak of the dancing polarity within the whole. How do you see this shift of perception within the healing of our psyche and also as part of Humanity’s evolutionary shift in consciousness during the 2012 portal?

I used to have a very dualistic thinking. For example, in the past I would be very quick at breaking connections in friendships if something went wrong. I would be quick at judging. Very black and white; you are either a good person or a bad person. Now I realise that everything is allowed to be and has its place, but I can still choose what I want to invite into my life and how I want to invite it, while respecting other people’s choices. I believe that this duality is not serving the planet and I am constantly expanding my vision, moment by moment. It feels enormous and wondrous.
What is clear to me now, is that we can only change human suffering, if we change and allow to grow consciousness within ourselves. We are constantly looking for the outer but we find it in the inner. We are many realities all the time and our minds are currently too limited to grasp this. It is huge. My path is to stay in touch with the source from the inner, and from that, coming out, creating and giving to others and the planet.

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